80 Kilo-Tons of Snot

You gotta love kids- the little germ factories that they are. From the time they start daycare or pre-school till they are in about 5th grade they are little petrie dishes bringing home germs. Hacking, coughing, sneezing and wiping the crusty boogies and slimy mucus from their noses with their hands and sleeves. No matter how many times you catch them and send them to the bathroom for tissue and to wash their hands you just know that they snuck one by you. Then they've got their hands and fingers all over your face and in your mouth recruiting you to join in their misery.

Here is the ironic part. Their germ fighters are new and building up immunities. They get sick frequently but bounce back quickly. We, on the other-hand, have had 30+ years of building up immunities and have white blood cell counts that could choke a horse and we get wiped out by the common colds they bring home. I mean the laying on the couch wondering if you are going to still be alive by night fall kind of being wiped out.

So here I sit at my computer, on a Saturday when I should be outside in this wonderful Southern California weather, with 80 kilo-tons of snot evacuating from these two stuffed up holes in my face. Now, what I don't understand is, if I can't even breath out of my nose- like I'm drowning in my own face- how can this endless supply of ooze be gushing from my nose like a broken faucet? Everytime I swallow I feel like I'm sucking my eyes back into my skull. Where does this much snot come from anyway? If I could only build muscle like I can produce snot. Too bad I can't figure out how to make some money off of this secretion. Do you remember those stretchy dolls that you pull all out of shape and then they slowly find their original shape again? If I could somehow figure out how to get this snot - it is already the right color if I remember correctly- a little thicker I think I could really be in business. I'm at a loss for a new, snot filled, doll name though.

Gotta run! Must find tissue!